500 days of Nicaragua

one night during training I decided to number the weekly calendar in my day planner with all the days I had been and will be in Nicaragua. There were some long boring stretches during training.

Recently while I was in the peace corps office in Managua, I was scheduling and rescheduling several activities when I realized, !*$%, I’ve been in Nicaragua for exactly 500 days. That called for some serious reflection.

Here’s what I’ve learned, 500 days is TON of time, maybe too much. Maybe I should have left things sweet at 400. But 500. On my 500^th day in Nicaragua, I realized just how much I have learned and grown. How worlds away my mindset is now from what it was on day 1.

As my dad says, I’ve lost a lot of my idealism. This is true. I’ve lost a lot here since day 1. Lost inspiration and motivation. Lost a certain degree of hope for change. Lost a bit of the belief I once had in the Peace Corps as a whole. This is hard work. Or let me rephrase, the “work” isn’t necessarily hard work, but life here is hard work. What I’ve learned in 500 days is that to be a Peace Corps volunteer you need more dedication, more motivation, more support than in most other jobs, if only to get out of bed in the morning. Just “going” “doing” “being” is work. So I worked and I went and I did and I was…and it was tough yet totally possible and fully rewarding. Only when I found myself being completely stripped of a support system did I realize how trying this work was.

500 days is a lot of time. And I have gained much more than I lost. While my mindset my be, well, more “realistic” my life has been so incredibly enriched. I know now that I am one of the lucky ones. I have a family that loves and supports me no matter what. My close friends would do anything for me and vice versa. I have more love in my life than anyone really deserves. (unfortunately, most of it is in another country). Hey, I speak Spanish now, and that’s awesome too. I’ve done a lot of good work here in the past 500 days.

Im working harder now on making the rest of my time here, however long it is, the best it can be. Therefore, I’ve been keeping a list of things that make me happy, here are 500 of them (or as close to 500 as I could get…maybe closer to 100…please comment and add to the list things that make u happy…maybe we can get to 500).

**not in order of importance (minus number 1 maybe)

1. mom, dad, elyse
2. my dog ziggy
3. my friends
4. the gals
5. big dancing
6. coffee
7. denise austin workouts
8. eggplant
9. extended family
10. the jersey shore
11. the jersey shore (the TV show)
12. levi jeans
13. rainbows
14. mountains
15. skyscrapers
16. new mascara
17. languages
18. good music
19. bad music
20. pretty shoes
21. peanut butter and jelly
22. wearing brown and black together
23. washers
24. dryers
25. hot water
26. grapes
27. apples
28. apple picking
29. pumpkins
30. pumpkin picking
31. soy products
32. graffiti
33. smiles
34. chocolate
35. yoga
36. ballet
37. family dinners
38. laughing
39. Ziploc bags
40. Indian food
41. thunderstorms
42. dishing
43. spending money
44. saving money
45. talking to friends
46. strawberries
47. scarves
48. sharpie markers
49. surfers
50. spain
51. Spanish food
52. wine
53. flamenco
54. hippies
55. jippis
56. purple
57. lady gaga
58. dove soap
59. klean kanteens
60. gear
61. hot corn tortillas
62. frijoles molidos
63. people watching
64. kayaking
65. reading
66. yogurt
67. holding hands
68. hugs
69. cooking
70. experimenting
71. chai
72. jokes
73. cooking shows
74. bagels and lox
75. being barefoot

75 was all I had the patience for…keep it going.