Invitation Accepted

...and making things that break in order to make and break them again passes my time...

breaking this current cycle, no, slump of boston living. so last week i called the peace corps placement office and officially accepted my invitation to become a small business development volunteer in Nicaragua! i'll be teaching! entrepreneurship! my heart is smiling. all this, almost 10 months after submitting my application. graduating from babson. moving to boston. getting a job. but never really settling in here. i always anticipated leaving, no fleeing from this place. boston is just not a good fit for this new york girl. it feels monotonous, vanilla, i miss the letter "r". i dont know even if it's that i'm a new york girl. i was less homesick when i was in Spain, an ocean away from ny. i could go on for days about the reasons i believe boston crushed part of my heart and soul, but i'll spare the details and jump to the anticipation of peace corpsyness, for that weight has been lifted and no longer burdens me.
WAAAAAAIIIITTTTT!!!!
paperwork first. welcome packets. handbooks. get new passport. update resume. written aspiration statement (uk, yuk, guhhhh...i need to write about myself. about my personal and professional attributes. about adapting to new cultures. about strategies for success. about for life post-PC. i struggle with controlling my ego, i mean, i think i'll be an awesome volunteer, and my always-present self-consciousness. this is my first impression to the PC office in nicaragua. im better in person. i think.) wisdom teeth must be removed. cavities filled. defer student loans. file taxes. move back to NY.
WAAAAAIIIIITTTT!!!!
had to tell my boss that i was leaving at the end of march first. i am so thankful that this job came into my life when it did. not only do i feel unbelievably fortunate to be working, but i work with an absolutely incredible and hilarious group of people. yes, they are a little rough around the edges, having several encounters with ex-convicts, drug dealers, jamaican shamans. but its been a blast and i've gained valuable experiences about having a "real" job. BUT, i have no qualms about leaving. my boss was shocked, i think. now people are clawing for my job. i'll leave on good terms and thats all i could ask for.
so now, i'm leaving. for 27 months. how do i react? buy a plain ticket to spain of course! since studying abroad spring 2007, granada, spain and my friends, no, my family from that time have stayed in the very front of my mind, alwats so i couldnt leave home for PC without going home first. laura (one of the most extraordinary women i know and my dear friend from cortlandt manor) and i will be fleeing to granada for a few days at the end of march. rioja, la alhambra, botellon, caaaaandy, fashion, strolling, sitting, plazas, gypsies, spanish men, salsa dancing, sangria, mojitos, hookah, falafal, discotecas, 5am walks home, clouded judgment, altered states, hippies, nothing, everything, FLAMENCO. extravagance before rejecting all luxuries of united states living? no no, i just want to practice my spanish first of course.
i dont expect the urge to blog to hit again at any time soon...so soak this in, my mind is running at 100mph in a whirlwind clusterf*ck of every emotion, urge, hesitation, etc...and i just cant keep up with it enough to get it into writing.

so here is my aspiration statement. i think it speaks pretty clearly as to how my life has taken me to where i am now. why PC is the only thing i want to do at this moment in time. where i expect this experience to take me. i'll leave out the prompts that i was given, but im pretty good at topic sentences so you should get the gist:

Aspiration Statement
Daina Ruback
Nicaragua
May 13, 2009

A. It seems that the Peace Corps has come into my life at the perfect time. Having graduated from business school almost a year ago, and then joining a start-up fundraising office shortly after, there are many professional skills that have I attained that will aid me as a small business development volunteer. During my time at Babson College I was able to both take and teach entrepreneurship courses, learning the best techniques to imparting knowledge that sometimes seems like it can only be absorbed in a professional setting. Being part of a brand new office helped me to put the skills I learned at Babson to first hand use. I have developed spreadsheets, reports, and systems that are essential to having a small business run. These experiences have made me comfortable speaking to large groups of people with a confident and substantiated knowledge of business planning, operations, and entrepreneurship.

Nothing is more fulfilling to me than imparting the knowledge that I was so fortunate to gain at Babson to others. I realized very quickly while at business school that I do not possess the same cutthroat business attitude that many of my schoolmates did. What did not escape me was the importance of what I was learning. My time in the Peace Corps is going to allow me the opportunity to combine all of my interests, training, and aspirations. Of course I have lofty goals like building up a struggling economy to be able to compete at an international level in our globalized world. But more importantly are the smaller building blocks involved: spotting opportunity, adding value, maintaining records. Small business skills will lead to bigger and better things for Nicaragua, and I would just feel extraordinarily selfish if I kept what I learned at college to myself. On a more personal level, it will be fulfilling for me to improve my Spanish language skills and learn more about Central American culture and economics (as I had done a great deal of research on African economics and development). And it would be remiss if I did not say that I look forward to making life-long friendships and family bonds.

B. Working with host country partners will prove to be quite an exciting challenge I’m sure. As a small business volunteer teaching entrepreneurship courses at the high school level, there will be many things I need to keep in mind to be effective. Understanding the school systems of Nicaragua will be paramount, as well as the learning about the profile of the student body. This will involve practicing my best listening skills. I intend to ask LOTS of questions. I intend on speaking with as many people in my community as possible. Though I am coming in as a community leader with business acumen, I realize I will be entering my service not knowing more than I do know. Perhaps the most important lesson I took away from my time teaching entrepreneurship in Ghana is the art of flexibility and no expectations. Will I know how many students will be in my class? Will I have a blackboard to write on? Will there be enough chairs and desks for each student? Planning for everything and expecting nothing is what will help me wok effectively with my host country partners. All in all, my strategy is one of honesty, of knowing when to ask for help, and of eagerness to learn and grow and do and adjust.

C. Growing up in New York, I started life with a very global outlook. Different cultures never felt far away. I have also been very lucky to have done a bit of travelling during my school days, and my favorite game in every country I’ve been to is the try-not-to-be-spotted-as-the-foreigner game (though this proved to be more difficult while volunteering in Ghana). I think I do a pretty good job as people have approached me speaking Spanish, Italian, even Hindi thinking I am a native speaker. Though I have already read up quite a bit on Nicaragua, it is still a relative mystery, so adapting to this new setting will be a new exciting challenge. Pushing myself to speak Spanish as much as possible every day in Nicaragua will help me to adapt. Taking time each day to stop and be thankful will help me to adapt to life in a developing country. Embracing the liberation that comes with doing more with less will help to make Nicaragua feel like home. Fostering friendships and family ties will keep me grounded and make me smile. Trying new foods might upset my stomach, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? I love to learn. Actually, that might be an understatement; I live to learn. As my Peace Corps service will be one of the greatest learning experiences of my life, I’m sure I will soon feel right at home in Nicaragua.

D. Pre-service training will be invaluable in helping me to be an effective Peace Corps volunteer. I am most excited for Spanish language training. Though I have studied Spanish and have studied business, I have never been exposed to the intersection of the two. Pre-service training will also be essential in familiarizing me with the state of Nicaraguan economics and law, which will be vital when doing business education and advising. Also learning more about the natural resources of the country will be both fascinating and significant to my service. Meeting my fellow Nicaraguan volunteers and starting to develop a support system in the country is sure to be incredibly exciting as well!

E. I try not to think or plan too much about life post-Peace Corps. July 2011 seems eons away, and I cannot even begin to think how I will change during my service. Will I return to the United States? Will I continue working and volunteering abroad? Will I fall in love? Will I build a tree-house and run away to the rainforest with a pet toucan? What I do know is that I will want to continue on this track of teaching. I know the Peace Corps will open many doors for me. For both personal and professional reasons I hope to go to graduate school and continue my education. Perhaps after my service I could go to graduate school in Spain or South America with my developed language skills. I truly hope that my time with the Peace Corps will only add more heat to my passion for teaching. As I move from student to professional life, I am realizing more and more what does and does not motivate me. My time in Nicaragua will help to shape this motivation even more and determine which direction I will take. I do hope that the independence I achieve, the business skills I develop, and the friends I make will lead me to many more adventures and achievements, both in my professional and personal life.