please remember to blog...

i have a blog. i hate to blog. typing into cyberspace just seems cold and distant to me, but as i get ready to leave everything and everyone i know, i'm beginning to warm to the idea of this medium of connection.

i had my going away party in brookline this past weekend. i'll admit it in writing now that i HATED living in boston, but the only thing that made it bearable fun was living at 90 cypress, apartment 3, with my sister elyse, imanah, and brittany. you girls, i love you.

it was a joint fiesta for me and my dear friend sarah who is heading to india with the deshpande foundation in june. i'm in awe of my friends, and as they venture off to foreign lands to change the world, i ask them to please remember to blog. i guess i can return to favor. the party was wonderful, full of almost all of my favorite people in the world, a small group of amazing people. and i had to say goodbye to most of them. and that was....awful...and sad and difficult and mostly sad. and i cried, a lot. and i expect everyone to come visit me in nicaragua.

now that another round of goodbyes is over, i am left to think of packing. perhaps my least favorite thing in the world. though now i have some great gear to put in my new osprey space station (thanks to the cute boy at EMS and an impromptu "peace corps" discount). maybe i'll test my infamous last minute packing skills and wait until may 11.

message to all future peace corps volunteers: the company ExOfficio offers pro deals to peace corps volunteers. fill out a pro deals application, and you can get 10% off WHOLESALE prices on their clothes. and i'm a big fan. light weight, quick dry, odor resistant, sun protection, super comfortable clothes. i'm in love.

what else might interest you about my pre-departure life? i cut my hair off, not like scary skinhead or anything, its wonderful, thank you lisa at shag salon in southie. minor detail. but it will be great for the hot humid weather in nicaragua.

another question i've gotten several times recently besides "are you going to blog?" is "are you scared?" yes. but i cant exactly figure out what i'm scared of. i think i'm nervous about not being qualified...not having the know-how to actually help, or make any sort of impact. but those thoughts are mostly fleeting. so i dont know...what it is that i'm scared of. i just know that ive had a pit of anxiety in my chest ever since i left my job at the end of march and began my "farewell tour" as i like to call it. i just can't shake the feeling. and sometimes i think it is just that i am feeling, all at once, the realization of the love i have for the people most important to me, my friends and family, and not necessarily the dread of leaving them (which i do have), but simply the reality of all that love, becomes palpable, and it's just more intense than most other emotions.

and that is why i normally avoid blogging, because when i write nonsensical mushy stuff like that in my journal it's in pen, and it's permanent, and it's private, but now it's in times and i have the option to delete. but i'll leave this one, because, well, i do love my friends and family, and want them to know it, so there.

OH! here's my excuse not to blog: letter writing! duhhh, here is my contact information in nicaragua, for the beginning at least:

PCT Daina Ruback

Cuerpo de Paz

Apartado Postal 3256

Managua, Nicaragua

Central America

NOTE: once i have finished training and am assigned to a community, i should have a new and more direct address. i'll update this on the blog of course. also, as much as i would love to receive care packages, customs taxes and theft rates are high. and please, date your correspondence, so i know how long it takes to get to me. and if you plan on writing to me more than once during the 27 months that i'll be away, number the letters so i know if one doesnt make it.

on a final note, i just found out that one of the people who truly had an impact on me and my time at Babson, professor Natalie Taylor, has just recently passed away. though she only taught graduate classes at babson, we somehow connected and she took an interest in me and invited me to sit in on her social entrepreneurship class. she really pioneered this field at Babson, a woman truly ahead of her time, one of the greats. one of the people who made me realize my time at babson was worthwhile, who inspired me to take this path with the peace corps. for this i am eternally grateful to her. she will be missed.

i'll try to do this blog thing one more time before i leave, hopefully a tad less begrudgingly each time, with some final thoughts, goodbyes, advice, etc.